Accepting Rejection - The Audition Chronicles

I used to be incredibly terrified of rejection. I found that if I tried out for a musical and wasn't cast, I couldn't go see that show because it made me feel sad or jealous. What if I saw the director or the people who made it? What if they made fun of me? What if the spotlight found me in the audience and the entire audience pointed and laughed at my failure? These may have been irrational fears, but they were paralyzing. Luckily I've grown a little wiser and with every audition, my skin has gotten a little thicker. I've yet to be publicly mocked for bombing an audition and I've been able to enjoy seeing the shows I didn't get cast in. So whether you plan to go to your 500th audition or whether you're going in for your first - I figured I'd drop some of my learned knowledge. It's the neighborly thing to do.

So what do you do when you find out that you didn't land the part? Be sad. Really. It's okay. I've talked to friends who participate in theatre and they all agree that for some set amount of time after not getting cast you are allowed to be upset. However, it's important to set a time limit on your sadness. So give yourself a day or the weekend, but make sure that by the end of that time you're ready to move on. The longer you allow one setback to keep you down, the harder it will be to dust yourself off and get back out there.

Just like you practice your audition pieces, you should practice being rejected. I know it seems strange to welcome rejection, but here's why it's not really that weird:

• Rejection is part of life. Whether it's an audition, a job interview, asking someone on a date, trying to make new friends - the possibility of being rejected is out there and no one likes being caught unprepared.
• The better you learn to handle rejection, the easier it becomes to put yourself out there and try new things. If the scariest thing about an audition is that you might not get cast - then isn't that nice? There will be other shows and other parts and the world will not end.
• I firmly believe that you learn a lot from rejection. It can give you a better understanding of what you need to get even better. It can teach you resilience. And, if you're sentimental like I am, rejection can help you see the importance of being in the right place at the right time.

One of my favorite directors, Jim Christian, posted something to Facebook that was a balm to my aching, recently auditioning soul. Here's an excerpt of it below:

"...For those who are not selected for the cast and wanting to know why, the answer always boils down to exactly the same response: for that particular production…of that particular show…at that particular venue…by that particular company…at that particular time…for that particular purpose…someone else was the best fit for the role. It’s that simple. That simple. It is the role of the actor to accept casting decisions with grace and professionalism. An audition is a job interview…and we typically don’t get every job for which we apply."

I've heard a lot of directors compare casting a show to solving a really complicated puzzle. It's because of how difficult this process is for a production team that I think it's really important as an actor to be professional about casting decisions. If you didn't get cast? That's too bad, but be classy about it. It's really easy to play the blame game if you don't get cast, or if you don't get the part you wanted, but you shouldn't start blaming the director or the other people you auditioned with. That won't get you the part and you'll only end up unhappy.

If you've ever faced a relationship heartbreak (or watched any romantic comedy in the last 20 years) you'll have heard something along the lines of:  "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." I don't agree with that in terms of actual love life advice, but in the theatre sense, it's a good mantra to live by. The best way to get over not getting cast, is to try out for something else. The more you audition, the possibility of rejection becomes less scary. And once you can rid yourself of the fear of rejection, you can delight in how fun auditions can be and you can focus on doing what you do best.

This is the second installment of "The Audition Chronicles." If you're looking for tips on auditioning, you can find those in installment numero uno here.